Thursday, August 6, 2009

Life is but a dream...

What a challenging few weeks its been.

Poor Benji-man Button has been very sick,

and after several vet visits,
numerous tests,
and an acupuncture session,

we are finally seeing some improvement in the little bear.

I cannot tell you how attached I have become to the sweet man.

And how being with him, while he is ill,
praying to whatever is out there
that he WILL make it,
that he will be fine,
has really brought me down a level.

Why, I wonder, is it always the threat of tragedy
that brings us to our knees,
to help us appreciate the sum of tiny miracles that is our
perfectly precious lives?

A cup of coffee hasn't tasted this good in a while,
just the aroma, the swirl of the cream,
the perfect dollop of sweet honey,

and sitting outside to watch the sun rise over the horizon,
highlighting one of the greatest cities in the world,
that I am privileged enough to
be a participating resident of.

It isn't the easiest, however,
to have light shed upon how perfectly transient this all is,
to have the notion of 'How important is it, really?'
be at the forefront of your mind at every moment.

The challenge lies in how lonely this begins to feel
when nearly everyone around you
is SO committed to the
lives they have created, and the importance
of every last detail,
where, to me, for today,

its just not.

Its just not that important.

Most of it.

What matters to me today:
Hearing him breathe,
watching him drink water,
being SO overcome with joy
when he eats a BITE of chicken,
that its almost as if he had started
reciting Shakespeare.

I've always known it was the little things that gave me so much joy.

That's what this blog has been for me,
a place to share, with you, the teeniest little pieces
of my innermost awe.

And for today,
my life,
as it is,
with Benji sleeping soundly beside me,
healing deeply,
is so much more than I could ever hope for.

Thank you for being here to share it with me.


1 comment:

  1. OH, my heart goes out to you. I know how you feel about your little dog. I have a 14 year old blind red toy poodle (have had him since he was 8 weeks him in Santa Barbara.)
    And he is my LIFE. His name is Butterscotch..we call him Buddy.
    Sounds like your little guy is doing well. My husband and I love him like a child. He is our child. The sun rises and sets on him. I know your love of your little Benji, and you write about him beautifully. I stumbled upon you this morning by chance. Or not? Looks like we have alot of the same interests. Including our love of our dogs.
    Butterscotch and I are thinking of you and sending all best wishes.
    We will check back to see how you're doing.