Monday, August 17, 2009

You're too much.

So today, we went to the beach.

I couldn't let him go without saying goodbye
to one of his favorite places.

I wondered if taking him was a bit too much.
If I was just willing him to be better than he really is.

I was stunned at the way his energy perked up
the second we arrived,
and how he dragged me, pulled me, down the beach
further and further
until I inevitably had to carry him back to the car.

*"MOM, lets GO..."

Sitting there, on the beach with him,
the cloudy sky holding us both in the breeze,
as we snuggled close,
was a moment I will never forget.


I realize now that it was the best thing for him,
and for me,
to get out, see the vastness of the ocean,
witness its natural ebb and flow,
like life,
and feel comforted by the warm sand under my toes,
and the life breathed into my boy
for that short time.

For an hour, he was a puppy again.

And I am so grateful to have witnessed it.

THAT is how I will remember him,
how I will hold him in my heart.

I made peace with losing him today.
Watching him lay in the sand,
with the breeze on his face,
is how he will always be to me.

And a great lesson was learned:
It is never too much
or too late,
one is never too busy
to take the time
to create the memories we hold most dear.

And I'm forever grateful.



  1. Much love to you two both...Benji is so lucky to have you and that beautiful goodbye...
    ...Hi there Benji-please say hello to my girl Chloe up there-she's a love!

  2. All my sympathy and love to you. This was the saddest and most beautiful read. And for you to share it with all of us. I'm weeping as I read it. I love my dog so much, I sometimes wonder how can we love a dog so much. I dream of him at night. I stare at him in the day. My boy. My love. My life.

    I too have loves of my life in pet heaven. I never stop thinking about them.

    Know he is with you....always.

    Best to you,
    Kary and Butterscotch

  3. You are in my prayers tonight. I know too well, there is nothing more difficult on earth that what you are going through.